Kingsman: The Secret Service

Going in, I had already read the comic by Mark Millar (Kick-Ass) and Dave Gibbons (Watchmen) and loved it so much I made a friend read it. It was filled with impeccable style, humor, blood, and thrills with a raggedy hero you could root for. The movie adaptation delivers on all counts and actually significantly improves on the source material.

It follows the Cinderella story of Eggsy Unwin (the dreamy Taron Egerton), a chav with a heart of gold, as he is recruited by Harry Hart (Colin Firth) to compete against fellow recruits and join the ranks of the Kingsmen, an elite group of classic Bond-esque spies. Eggsy manages to defy prejudices against his lower-class background and when he finally earns his bespoke suit and glasses (pictured), it's quite the magical moment. Meanwhile, a crazy evil plot to decimate the Earth's population cooked up by Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) and his right hand lady Gazelle threatens to tear the Kingsmen apart.

The movie adaptation manages to flesh out the short 6-issue comic in all the right places by adding more heart, character, and action. For instance, in the comic, Gazelle is a male US army veteran who just happens to have no legs. The movie takes Gazelle to a whole other level by making her a strong non-objectified female character who uses her prosthetic legs to slice through flesh and bone with glee. Every single one of her acrobatic fight scenes is a joy to watch and wholly original and her partnership with SLJ's villain rings true.

On the subject of action, Eggsy has his fair share of cool car chases, underwater levels, skydiving, pug training, and Gazelle fighting, but nothing topped Colin Firth's jaw-dropping church scene. In what may very well be this movie's version of "Let it Go", Firth fights his way through a mesmerizing and beautifully-choreographed ballet of ultraviolence all set to "Free Bird". If you are going to see only a single scene, make it this one. Humor-wise, Kingsman stays witty and British throughout (bolstered by excellent chemistry and comedic timing among the cast) up until a controversial Cards Against Humanity-level joke involving butts and princesses which capped off the ending (I found it somewhat endearing).

In all, Kingsman the movie was really the best way to let a good comic come to life and become much more endearing, lively,and visceral with a more captivating plot, particularly with regards to Eggsy's training and character development. The movie spends a lot of time paying homage to old spy movies which keeps it just short of being genius, but it is incredibly entertaining and definitely a must-see if you like action, blood, and dry humor as much as I do.

Bonus! There is no romantic subplot (even with the presence of Eggsy's pretty and competent fellow Kingsman Roxy with whom he has a great platonic relationship with)

Jupiter Ascending IMAX 3D

Jupiter Ascending was surprisingly fun and gorgeous in IMAX 3D. However dorky the story was (poor girl becomes a space queen by virtue of being the genetic reincarnation of an industrial matriarch and is rescued by sexy dog-hybrid Channing Tatum and Sean Bean is part bees? etc.etc.) you could tell that the Wachowskis reveled in building their exquisite space opera world with a great variety of creatures and lush locales and quirks. The CGI chases and action (of which there were many) were both loud and thrilling, and every costume was on point, really making this a visual feast. The movie tries its best to ship Kunis and Tatum like a 14 year-old's OTP and Oscar nominee Eddie Redmayne turns in a so-bad-it's-good angry whisper performance as the main villain. If you want to see a cheesy adorkable spectacle, consider Jupiter Ascending.

The Theory of Everything

After seeing The Theory of Everything, I am actually completely willing to grab that Imitation Game Oscar right out of Benedict Cumberbatch's hand and chuck it at Eddie Redmayne because when he got in that wheelchair as Stephen Hawking, I totally forgot that it was an actor having to re-enact Hawking's twisted posture, deteriorating speech, and facial expressions. It was an absolutely remarkable transformative performance at the highest difficulty level. Bravo, sir. I thought Eddie was pretty charming in My Week With Marilyn, but this is next-level.

On Disney Princesses (from 9/7/2013)

Yo-ho-ho This will be a long post about Disney's Frozen:

So, apparently “Frozen” which Tumblr and animation enthusiasts have been griping about, is actually quite good, like “Beauty and the Beast” level good. It has great songs, characters, Olaf the snowman is actually funny, Elsa is a compelling antivillain, beautiful animation, a female-positive plot, and overall, hearkens back to the grandiose Disney princess features of old.

And IMHO, that latter bit is the largest issue. Disney is constantly putting on nostalgia glasses and doing throwbacks, especially in the princess department.Charles Dickens made an incredible career out of writing a lot of classic books about orphan boys (and then there’s Bleak House), but he was just one man, and Disney is an infinitely powerful corporate monster that’s pretty much immortal at this point. Of the last few Disney princess movies I’ve seen (Pixar’s Brave, Tangled, and Enchanted) all of them play on/rehash princess tropes like the spunky/feisty white lass in her late teens (Enchanted’s Giselle acts like one) in some sort of conflict with an older woman/mother-like figure and some sort of romantic entanglement (frequently royalty-related, the “I don’t want to get married” trope comes back with a vengeance in Brave) on a journey of self-discovery to the outside world with magic, destiny, and cute animals. This has been done ad nauseam. It’s formulaic, and at this point, boring in the nicest way possible. Sure, the aforementioned three movies are widly different in setting, but ultimately not different enough. [I’d really like to see Princess and the Frog soon]

I don’t want to walk out of another Disney princess movie saying, “That was cute” (my reaction to Tangled). I want to walk out saying, “That was something great that I’ve never seen before and I was emotionally invested” (which was my reaction to Mulan). I don’t think cute’s quite good enough in this day and age. I know it sells toys well, and it’s emotionally and visually safe, but if Disney wants to progress into the future, they’re going to have to make something new, with more of a bite rather than resting on sparkly laurels. Wreck-It Ralph, while not a princess movie or particularly emotionally edgy, was a great example of a twist on a zero-to-hero theme, where it put on video game nostalgia glasses (something that no animated movie had done before), it had a heroic villain protagonist (Zangief explains this better), with a great and varied supporting cast. Felix, Vanellope, and Calhoun all look totally different and and act totally different, and don’t quite fit into any traditional Disney archetypes.

Perhaps, Disney could take a hint from Studio Ghibli in regards to it’s princess and female-led movies. Like Dickens, Miyazaki and Co. really like making movies about a lead girl, with a supporting boy, and usually magic, and themes about nature and pacifism (and then there’s the Yamadas), but they’re all wildly, wildly different and none of the stories necessarily require that the lead has to be attractive or romantically involved (this is either extremely subtle/restrained or more like a rewarding subplot). Also, Ghibli’s heroines run the gamut of personalities, looks, and ages, from a curious baby goldfish to a vicious teenager raised by wolves. They know the meaning of variety.

I’ve been hearing whispers and seeing concept art for Disney’s Polynesian island-based feature, so hopefully, that’s a step towards the future.

Disney’s princesses (and non-princess heroines) are almost always spunky and doe-eyed (and frequently teens) when there’s an infinite variety of personalities to choose from. How about a true villain protagonist princess? How about a slacker, or even one of those awkward, gangly, brainy types that male protagonists often are (I’m looking at you, Hiccup)? How about a girl with a Mufasa-level tragedy? How about someone a little bit sexy? Disney had no problem with Megara and Esmeralda, though they are the romantic objects in their movies. How about my dream, a Capt. Amelia Treasure Planet spin-off? That would be something.

TL;DR Disney makes a damn good classic princess movie (Frozen), but we really need something more progressive, and not just more PoC’s, but storylines and characters that are less cute and more risky and dangerous, but ultimately more memorable.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug and 12 Years a Slave (from 12/23/2013)

Desolation of Smaug was the best 3 hours of shameless fanservice I've ever seen. That was one sexy dragon.

12 Years a Slave was one of the best historical dramas I've ever seen. It was utterly unflinching in its depiction of antebellum America with an incredible performance from Chiwetel Ejiofor.

Both movies had Benedict Cumberbatch, naturally.

6-Word Reviews (from 12/27/2011)

6 word reviews of movies I have seen recently:

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Still epic on the third time
Narnia: Prince Caspian: Less boring on the second try
Green Lantern: Pretty, but lacks a satisfying conclusion
Sherlock Holmes (the first one): A combination of cleverness and humor
War Horse: Slow start, but moving and adorable
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Great murder mystery, but highly disturbing
Tintin: Fantastic animation, quick plot, very fun

Book Review: Crime and Punishment (originally written 6/26/2012)

I finally finished this a week ago, even though it was assigned for school.

It was really well-written and well thought out, though it was the length and the massive cast of characters that made it difficult.

It’s a classic, though I felt that Dostoevsky added a lot of superfluous subplot (Svidrigailov, basically) to make things more exciting in a serialized novel format, but otherwise the main plot about Raskolnikov’s murder of an old pawnbroker and his subsequent guilt was exciting at the start, slow in the middle, and riveting at the end.

Rating: Why hasn’t this been adapted into a movie within the past 5 years?